Hurting inside
by Turtlefanforlife1982
Summary: this is in Eric's POV, this tells about how he felt about his sister trying to kill her self


**Disclaimer: don't own anything as usual…**

**A/N: don't know where this story came from, I just sat down and started writing…**

**Summery: this is mostly in Eric's POV, a small look into his feelings about seeing his older sister crying in their mother's arms with pills scattered on the floor. And his feelings after his sister comes home from the hospital.**

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><p>I see my sister's best friend running into the house, when she asked me where Taylor was I just shrugged and pretty much said I didn't care where she was. But moments later I could hear screeming coming from upstairs, I get up and run as fast as I could, I met mom at the top of the stairs, she tells me to wait. After hearing Taylor repeat over and over "I just wanna die." I knew that it was my fault, I stood beside the paramedics and watched the scene unfold. Mom is holding Taylor as she is sobbing uncontrollably on the floor, what's worse is there is an empty pill bottle at her feet and a bunch of pills spilled around the bathroom. I just keep wondering, 'is all of this my fault?' I watch as the large paramedic steps forward and injects my sister with a sedative. With in moments all that could be heard was silence before one man picked my sister up and carried her out to the ambulance. Mom told me to stay home and clean up the bathroom, she would keep me up to date on Taylor's condition.<p>

Hours later mom calls and tells me that Taylor was admitted for the night, after hanging up the phone I go to my room. I just sit on the end of my bed and start crying my self, just then my cell phone rings, I see that it is my father. "hello?" I'm trying to keep my voice from cracking, but its no use dad hears it "what's the matter Eric?" I kept thinking 'should I tell him?' "Taylor's in the hospital." "what happened? Is she ok?" I can feel the tears flowing down my face as I said to him "I think she will be ok now, dad, I did something bad and I blamed Taylor for it." I can hear my dad say softly "what did you do?" "I changed the statuse on her internet profile… it caused a lot of problems… mom found out and so did she… mom grounded me for a month… but I had told Taylor I hated her… and I silently blamed her."

For a moment dad didn't say anything, I was just getting ready to see if we lost connection when he said "your right, that is pretty bad. But why is Taylor in the hospital?" I took a deep breath and said "Taylor has been getting bullied online… and in the last few weeks it has been getting worse… I came home from school today not knowing Taylor was already here… her friend Samantha came running into the house looking for her… I could hear screams… I ran upstairs to find out that Taylor tried to commit suicide…" another long pause, I know Taylor's gonna be mad at me but I don't care, I had taken her laptop out of her room after she left and watched the video she had posted. I let dad hear it, after another few moments he said to me "that was a suicide message son, she was crying for help, you don't post something like that for just any one to find." after dad got me to calm down we hung up the phone. I watched the video again, I feel tears running down my face as I hear the pain in my sister's voice.

The following afternoon, after my sister had gone to sleep in her bed at home, mom left telling me to watch my sister. I had to go up every ten minutes to check on her, one of the times I went up I just stood there staring at her. She must have felt that some one was watching her because she woke and asked me why I was staring at her. I thought about being a smart ass about it but choose not to at the moment, she had been through enough. I sat on the edge of her bed, I just stared at the floor for a moment or two then I could hear myself ask her "were you really going to do it?" when she didn't answer me I looked over to see her nodding her head, I just said to her "I would have been mad if you did." she just told me "no, you would have loved being the only child." I wanted to loose my cool with her but I didn't "no I wouldn't, if you hadn't posted that video… I could have been the one to find you in the bathroom dead…" I just keep thinking to myself 'this is my fault…' I could see the look in Taylor's eyes, I finally asked her "do you blame me?" she frowned and told me "for what?" "for… well you know… starting all of this? If it hadn't been for my and Cooper screwing around and changing your status then this wouldn't have happened." I could see Taylor thinking about what I said, after a few moments she said to me "no, I don't blame you… I know I said I hated you… but I don't." "but if it wasn't for me you wouldn't have tried to kill your self."

_**Taylor's POV**_

I could so easily blame him for this… after all, he was the one who started it all, but I could see he was fighting an internal battle. I sit up in bed and tell him "Eric, don't blame your self, that's how this happened to me." I could see him meet my eyes and I told him "if you need to talk I'm here." I watch him stand up, then I relies something "I bet people are saying all kinds of things about me…" Eric looked at me but didn't say a word, "would you get me my laptop?" when he didn't move I started to get up but he stoped me "fine, I will get it." after handing it to me I opened it up, I just clicked log in when mom came in with a sturn look on her face. No words were said as she took my laptop out of my hands and sat down on the edge of my bed. She ran a finger threw my hair putting it behind my ear and said to me nicely "are you sure that's a good idea?" I didn't feel up to fighting, I still wanted to die, but I know better now.

_**Eric's POV…**_

I walked out of my sister's room and went to mine, I knew I shouldn't have given her the laptop… I was just trying to be nice to her… thanks to me now she is in trouble again. As I lay on my bed I think about everything that happened, I can feel a tear escape again, I keep thinking, that if I hadn't messed with her laptop to begin with then she wouldn't have tried to kill her self. I'm such a horrible brother, I was just mad at her… I didn't mean to hurt her, or make her cry…

_Several weeks later…_

_**Eric's POV…**_

I got home from school and saw my sister sitting in the living room currled up in a blanket, it was evident she was fighting back tears again. I thought about just walking by, but then again, havnt enough people done that to her here lately. I walked over and asked "what's the matter?" she sniffled and looked up at me "Samantha pretended to be this guy James. I found out this morning, she told me her self." I didn't know what to say to her, I still felt guilty about everything, but now the blame is being put on her best friend. "do… do you know why she did it?" Taylor just let a tear fall and shook her head, I went upstairs and sat in my room, thinking back I wish I could take back the day that Cooper and I changed the status on Taylor's profile.

I wish I could take back the moment I heard her crying over what people were saying to her, I have a lot of wishes but I know deep in my heart that they wont come true. I learned a valuable lesson threw all of this, becarful of what you do or say online… I never relised that words can actually hurt some one… even if its written down… mom always tells Taylor that the internet is not privet… that every one can see what you post… I read some of what was said to Taylor… she had over 1000 comments from people all over school… every bit of it made me mad when I read it… the night she was in the hospital I laid awake and cried over her trying to kill her self… to think that ending your life is so easy and so quick… I know I couldn't do it, but Taylor was willing too… I feel tears running down my face now knowing what I had done…

I know that most of this is my fault… but there is nothing I can do… later that night I go to Taylor's room and I see her working on her homework, she looks up at me and I sit down on the edge of her bed. After a moment of no words she asks "do you need something?" I just feel my self nod my head and I say slowly "Tay… I just wanted to tell you… I'm sorry… I wish there was some way to take back what I did but I know I cant. I am sorry for changing the status on your profile wich started this entire thing, you were right I messed it up for you… I am truly sorry for everything… I'm also sorry for not running up the stairs when Samantha came in looking for you… I was mad because you had gotten me grounded. I blamed you for it, I know now that it was my fault not yours. I love you Taylor, I didn't mean to hurt you, can you ever forgive me for what I did?" Taylor turned in her seat listening to me, after a few moments she said to me "in time I can forgive you, thanks for apologizing, that means a lot to me. Why did you change it to begin with?" I was wondering how long I would have to wait to hear that question, "I was mad because you wouldn't set me up an account, you don't have to tell me that it was stupid I already know it was. Revenge online isn't the answer, I am sorry for that too." she smiled at me and got up, she put her arms around me and said into my ear "its ok, thanks for telling me, now get out of here brat so I can finish my homework." I gave her a weak smile and left the room, I didn't feel the burdon on me like before, but I do know that in time we will be back to being friends again and as close as we were before, but its going to take a long time…

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><p><strong>The End<strong>

**A/N: I was watching Cyberbully for the 1,000,000,000****th**** time and thought about Eric and how he must feel about everything so I wrote it out. This is my second POV story, Words can hurt was my first. R&R but no flames please.**


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